Sunday, April 6, 2014

spring break- it's over

Spring break is officially over. Noooo! How can it be? The bad news is that I did very little schoolwork and am not feeling ready to go back. The good news is that I got a lot of rest, and there are only two months of school remaining. Here are a few snapshots from the week. 

Marissa came over one day, and we sat in the yard with our dogs.

I went to California for a couple of days. The flight was hard on my nausea, but it was still worth it to visit my mom and to see the ocean.

We went to Center Street in Anaheim. Unfortunately, it was a Monday, so nearly everything was closed. We headed down to the beach for lunch, ice cream, and a walk.

And finally, a cute shot of Aaron playing music with the guys in Chris and Shannon's basement.
Time to push through to the end of the semester. I hope I have the energy. I'm finally in the third trimester, and I've been feeling so tired.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

things that make me happy

1. Aaron and I went on a little afternoon date today. We stopped by our friends' new clothing shop, which is looking awesome. Then we had lunch at Protos. Even though the weather is bad today, it was fun to get out of the house together.

2. This week one of my students turned to me and said, "You're pregnant. You like to eat. You like chips? I'm going to bring you some chips." The next day, she came into my classroom with a huge bag of Doritos. I don't eat a lot of chips, but I thought it was funny and sweet.

3. I got a new camera for Christmas because my old one was on its last leg- wouldn't hold a battery charge, etc. I've finally started using the new one, and I love it! It's awesome. It's got the feel of the old manual camera I used in college (though so much lighter).

4. I turned my Etsy shop back on after a 2-month hiatus while I was too sick to keep up with it. I'm finally getting back on top of things. I ordered some tiny business cards from Moo. They were reasonably priced and are oh-so-tiny and cute. Having the break from the shop reminded me how much I really love running my little business. It's a good creative outlet for me. I've been making some new jewelry designs, and it's been fun.

5. Spring is here (sort of). Although it's icky out today, the weather has been nice. Earlier this week it was 70 out! Aaron grilled, and we had a picnic in the backyard with chicken, sweet potatoes, and artichokes. It was so nice to eat outside. This has felt like the longest winter of my life, but summer is just around the corner.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

on yoga, and pregnancy, and feeling a little bit stronger


**Some of the items for our nursery. More here

I went to yoga last week for the first time in three months. For a long time, yoga was one of my favorite ways to de-stress, to recharge, and to feel generally happier about life.  I quit doing yoga in November after I was diagnosed with hyperemesisgravidarum, a rare complication in pregnancy that causes constant nausea and uncontrollable vomiting all day, every day, that usually lasts well beyond the first trimester and sometimes through the entire pregnancy.

I didn’t quit yoga because I wanted to. I quit yoga because I could barely make it out of bed. I could hardly keep any food down, I frequently vomited blood, I had to go to the hospital for IV rehydration.  I was put on medication typically prescribed to chemo patients to prevent some of the vomiting. The medication meant that on most days, I vomited 3-5 times instead of 8-10 times. I lost weight. I became a shell of the person I used to be. I also closed down my Etsy shop, missed a lot of work, and generally felt miserable and unhappy about not being able to live my life normally.  I worried about harming the baby inside of me. I felt frustrated and out of control of my life. I was often so weak and depleted that I couldn’t even stand up in the shower or walk up and down the half flight of stairs in my house.

In spite of my initial problems and a few additional complications, this baby has managed to keep on fighting. After many tears, and sick days, and hospital visits, I’ve made it through the first 20 weeks of pregnancy. It feels like a miracle to have made it halfway through. The nausea and vomiting have begun to subside, and I am slowly but surely beginning to get my life back. I am still sick much of the time, but I have a little more energy now that there are good days mixed in with the bad ones.

This experience has made me painfully aware of how little control we actually have over our lives sometimes. It’s reminded me of how much I dislike having to depend on anyone else. But it’s also taught me that it’s perfectly OK to depend on others when I simply cannot do things for myself.  It’s caused me to see my husband in a new way. He is so selfless, and kind, and helpful. He is going to make a wonderful father.

For some weird reason, I thought that going to yoga last week would help me feel magically better. To the contrary, it initially made me feel frustrated by how weak my body has become. I feel like I’ve lost three months of my life. I left feeling defeated instead of recharged. I went for a second time today and tried hard to channel some positive energy that I so desperately need. I spent the first half of the class feeling frustrated and the second half feeling grateful. I am grateful that I am finally well enough to exercise. I feel extremely grateful that my condition is a temporary one. I am so grateful for the little fighter inside of me, for his kicks that I'm now feeling on a daily basis. I’m infinitely grateful for my husband and for the family that we will have. The last several months have been truly challenging. I know it will all be worth it once we finally get to meet this tiny human.

**Sorry for the very personal nature of this post. It's something in my life that I wanted to document. It will be nice to look back on it someday as only a memory, rather than my everyday reality. I've also found a lot of comfort in reading other people's blogs about pregnancy complications and how they were able to push through.

Click here for more information about the condition.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

little update

I may have to rename (and then redesign) this blog. For some reason, my automatic payment didn't go through on the domain name renewal. I am unable to sign into the Google dashboard. The HELP phone number to call is entirely automated and directs me back to the website, which I can't log into. I tried to repurchase the domain name through a new company and am told it is already taken (by me, of course). So very annoying. At least I was able to redirect the content away from the old domain name and back to the blog url. For a moment I thought it was lost forever. What a mess.

Anyway, I haven't been blogging anymore because I wasn't feeling inspired to to it. My recent trip to Mexico made me sort of want to blog again.

I've been extremely sick for the past 2 months straight, which means that most of the "extras" in my life, (and even many of the essentials), have found their way to the back burner. I've never been this incapacitated for this long. It's been really hard. I've been writing in my journal very regularly instead of blogging. I'm sure I'll keep that up, but it might be nice to get back into this too. I also got a new camera for Christmas. It would be nice to put it to good use!

There is my update. Hopefully, more to come. Happy 2014.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

things that make me happy

1. Getting photos and little videos of my new nephew. He's pretty much the cutest baby in the world.

2. Only 2 more weeks of school left. This year was really hard and amazing all at the same time. I feel accomplished.

3. My husband is finally done with the soccer season, which means he's home in the evenings and is back to cooking. He's a good cook.

4. Today was the Senior Exit Assembly. The tradition is for all of the teachers to create a gauntlet to welcome in the freshmen at the beginning of the year and to send off the seniors at the end.  During the gauntlet, one of the seniors from my group in Writing Intervention gave me a big hug and said, "Thank you for everything you did for us this year." I didn't expect it. It made me happy.

5. Yoga at school. Our wellness program is offering yoga a couple of days after school for teachers. Our instructor is awesome. I feel so much better (physically and mentally) after each class. There is also something kind of nice about doing yoga with your colleagues.

6. Reading my students' blog posts. My English 9 kids are reading Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. We've been discussing memoir, and I'm having them do a ton of personal writing to gear up for their final assessment, which is a short personal narrative. Blogging has been a great tool to have them write a lot, to edit their writing, to read their classmates' writing, and to provide quick and accessible feedback. I love reading about their lives, getting to know them through their writing, laughing at their silly stories, and sometimes crying when learning about their struggles. They are such amazing young people, and I'm really proud of how much they've grown as writers and as human beings.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

i'm not dead

I just haven't been blogging much. Yesterday, it snowed a ton. In spite of the blizzard, Marissa and I drove out to Lafayette to visit Bess in the hospital. It was well worth the trip. She had a little baby boy, and he is absolutely beautiful.

My brother and Irena also had a baby, Oliver (photo below). I got to "meet" him via Facetime last week. It was fun to see his little face. And he was looking right at me, through the screen. I can't wait to meet him in real life.

I have a little bit of spring fever. The break is a week away, and I can hardly wait. I don't have anything exciting planned, but it will be nice to sleep in and go out for drinks. I've been missing family and itching to get away to Boston or California. I still have to reschedule my San Francisco trip from the fall. I'll probably have to wait until summer. This year, I've been so immersed in my job that I've had to put nearly everything else on the back burner. I guess that's what summer's for. And it will be here soon enough.